Friday, June 05, 2009

...




How does it feel when you find yourself going around a circle not knowing your destination as if you're driving into a roundabout continuously without stopping??

The outcome will simply be feeling dizzy and fidgety.

Imagine been through a week where all you can feel is pure stress, tiredness and hunger to sleep normally. And after going through such a week and instead of getting what you wanted which is a simply appreciation, you get the opposite instead crashing you real hard in unexpected way.

And here I was, believing little bit about the "Law of Attraction" and how if I believed in something, I will get it which I did. I believed that we're going to knock them down with our demo and presentation, but unfortunately, it didn't happen.

I still can't forgive the teacher at all for killing my hopes like that. I don't hate him, but I feel like I truly don't want to see him ever again in my life. I wonder when I became this person, who holds grudges against people. I still remember the time when I used to be a kid, with a big white heart pure as the snow who couldn't hate anyone even if she tried to.

I guess, there will come a time when I will go through a situation as twice as bad as this one that will make me laugh at this memory thinking that this was definitely nothing.

Thinking about the future scares me. Even though I sometimes complain about university, I wonder how things will be for me after I graduate. Where will I work? How will it be like? What about marriage? Kids? Responsibility? Busy life? More stress? No time for fun? All this keeps running through my head all the time helping me to be patient through the one year left for me in the university knowing that, it will be nothing compared to the outside world far away from the university walls that are protecting us.

So here I am, alone, wondering, about the future, remembering the past and living the present...

PS: Thanks Nona for the picture! ^___^

9 comments:

vitamin said...

eh, i know how u feel exactly causes im going through wat u r in now :) !!
u r not alone San, and about that Dr. killing ur dreams, he achieved all his dreams and he doesn't care about wat we r dreaming..u will face alot of pple who r trying to kill ur dreams, cause they dont care about wat r u dreaming of just keep thinking about ur dream still there r friends and pple around will help u << hey im here to help :D..
just follow " Law of Attraction" im sure u will get wat u want in the right time and in the right place

thinking about past is a good way for a headache :P

live ur present, and plan for ur future u won't regret it

wish u all the best dear San ^_^

P.S: i like that pic! im just wondering where the hell is that in Uni huh :/??

daddies little cuttie said...

i totally agree there are alot of ppl out there with such a hunger to break ppls hope ... keep ur dreams what u want is what u get and i totally believe in the law of attraction it worked for me perfectly...

vitamin is right thinkinking abt the past is a good source of an excellent headache ...

ppl tend to think of their future and forgetting to live today ... just enjoy each step u take ... and try to disable the worries of ur kids and future marriage :P

p.s. u better send me an invitation card u hear me

Queen San said...

Vitamin: Thanks a lot dear..Since, I'm not a total believer in the Law of Attraction, I doubt it will work for me, but why not try, ha?

I totally agree with you, thinking about the past can be very tiring and time as mind consuming.

Thanks for your good wishes, I wish you all the best in your finals dear.

The pic is from our trip to the island! Aham shai my shoes, lol!

^__^

daddies little cuttie: Wow, that law have worked for you? I would love to hear that story, maybe it'll make me believe in it more.

I do live today, but I can't help but worry about the future especially after what our country became like. It saddens me that our country is turning to the worst each day and that worries me a lot, not only worrying on my future, but on my friends and little brothers future as well.

Hahahahaha, of course I will send you one, but don't worry. Nothing is going to happen unless I finish graduating since my top priority right now is my studies.

Thanks a lot for reading and commenting sweetie! ^^

? said...

Life is Simple Complexity...& Complex Simplicity...

Miss Nonalita said...

This is my post.. am gonna link ppl to you ..

aaHhHh San .. I think you know me better than myself .. I have bacme the girl who slept under the table

mwaaa7z

HάķöØnã✿რätatã said...

emmm..9aa7..bass why we n3awer rasna in thinking about past?..if you think bel-things el-good O el-nice>>> hee 7loOo..but laish el-thinking about things that t3akker el-mezaag..
O el-future inshallah will be a7saan O a7saan..
Take it easy..donot think alot about el-majhool..O inshallah 5eer..
O ignore this kind of ppl (( who are trying to kill ur dreams ))..if you really want to do it..you will do it inshallah..
San >>> Good Luck..=)

Anonymous said...

baby i know how u feel !! listen the Law of attraction wont work in limitted time dont give it a limit time ! it wont work like that !

emm as for the future u have to sit and write down things that scares u !!! write them down and think about hw u can go over them !! all what u need here is to have a group of close frendz where u can share ur concerns with ! i know i have been away lately Am so sorry my cuttie Queenie ! just rmbr the way i laugh at myself then u'll feel fine ( my5e9a ) LOL

love u

AD.Queen

Queen San said...

Ai: That is so true!

Nona: Yeah, I know better! ^^
I still can't believe that we finished all that nightmare, finally.

›HάķöØηã✿რä৳a৳ã‹: Thanks a lot sweetie for your encouragement. I truly appreciate it. Of course, sometimes the past should be forgotten and left to be in the past, but sometimes we need it in order to find our way in life. I posted a new entry trying to explain what I mean.

Thanks for passing by sweetie ^^
I will do my best enshallah and reach for my dreams!

Queen San said...

AD_Queen: LOL! 9edg maye5e9a, hehehe ~~

Thanks for the advice. I do write down my concerns, what I want to change in me and so many things in papers. I always loved to do so because it gives me ideas of what I want to do or be and what is it that I'm not satisfied with.

Don't worry sweetie, we all are busy with our lives.

Thanks a lot for your lovely comment and advice! ^^