A Vist To The Past

Last weekend, I went out shopping in my city for bathroom stuff like shampoo, body lotion, Johnson products and etc. I had this urge while being out to go to a shop that was next to our old home. I wanted to go inside, but my bro didn't let me. I was going to ignore him and go inside it anyway, but seeing how small it is and crowded with guys, I changed my mind. It was 10 pm and I asked my bro to buy a lot of candies, chips, soft drinks and etc from the shop.

I don't know why I had this feeling, but I truly wanted to go back to the old me, the me who saw that shop huge at that time, the me who was pure knowing nothing about the real world, the me who was innocent holding no grudge to anyone. I just missed those old days. Some people still tell me that I'm way too innocent, but I disagree with them. I've been through a lot of pain in this life that made me trust no one. My best friends are the only ones who has my trust, but since I've been betrayed more than once before, it made me ready for anything from anyone even those who are close to me.

"Trust is truly a nightmare that's why you shouldn't be too absorbed in it. It's the same with love which is another nightmare that makes you blind to see what's truly going on in front of you."

However, I still need to taste the latter in order to confirm it since I only felt it radiating from the others.

~A lesson I learned recently~

When you lose your way and path in the present life, go back to the past and search for who you were, eventually, you'll find your path again and manage to walk through it to the future.

Darkness

Everything seems to be dark lately. My days pass by very slowly in a very boring way. I'm not sure whether I'm regretting taking 2 summer courses where I can't do anything at all.

The weather is too hot to bear and I can't believe I didn't buy an umbrella or a new sunglasses yet. I also kissed the sleep goodbye this summer since my room in the hostel is very hot. I can't sleep well and I keep tossing around trying to stand the heat, but it doesn't work.

I hate the way things are right now and I wish that I would have time to at least have fun or learn something new. I miss sitting with my friends and chatting with them, but with a weather like that, I hate going out even to my classes, but I'm forced to.

Seems like everyone around me have been telling me that I'm in a gloomy mood almost all the time and I snap from little things. I do agree with them since the summer I have imagined have been totally different than what I am having right now. Hopefully, this will change soon...

I wonder if my summer will shine with colors soon??